Eliza's Christmas

“Tick tock, tick tock,  tick... Tock”

You don’t want to look at me, my sweet little Eliza. Transfixed by the lights on our Christmas tree, the way they twinkle and dance reflecting against the windows and the darkness outside. They move slowly, red to green to blue to yellow and back to red again. I’m sure you smiled, just for a second as you caught a glimpse of yourself in the glass. 

“Pretty lights,” you say, your voice music to my heart. 

Oh my dear sweet little Eliza. With your pale skin and beautiful blue eye I don’t think I could ever be closer to happiness. This will be our first Christmas together, just the two of us.  I passed you last year, outside the Dragon’s Head.  You were sleeping off a heavy night in the doorway, your hair matted and knotted across the left hand side of your head, lipstick and mascara smeared across your pale face. That was the moment I decided I had to have you, I needed to have you in my life. 

You giggle as I take your hand and hold you closer to me. 

I don’t think anybody completes me as much as you do, my dear sweet little Eliza. I promise that I’ll keep you safe; as long as you remain here with me you’ll be safe and loved.  Never again will you have to endure a repeat of last Christmas, when that man tried to force himself on you while you were drinking, waving his mistletoe around: stupid, fat foolish man believing he could seduce you, that you’d want him. No, my dear Eliza, you are too precious for a man like that. Twelve months is a long time ago and so much has happened in between for us that I bet you don’t think back to that night, the night you cried out for him to stop. Should I let you into a secret, my dear? You will never have to worry about that man ever again; I made sure that he paid for the error of his ways.    

After he’d stolen a kiss from your sweet lips I followed him as he walked outside to light up a dirty cigarette. He didn’t know I was there, but he felt my presence. As he took his first lungful of tobacco stained air he felt the cold sharp steel from my blade as it travelled along his throat. I enjoyed the fear in his eyes, knowing that he was ever closer to drawing his last breath, yet unable to do so. It was most amusing, oh how I wish you would have been there to witness it. But I don’t think you would have been able to appreciate it as much then as you will now.  Very soon, my dear Eliza you will take the next steps on your journey, our journey together. Just as the blood dripped from his body, his energy and life draining away we grow stronger, their lives feeding ours. We won’t drink, we mustn’t confuse ourselves by believing we’re Vampires or some kind of monster that drains a person’s blood to build up our own strengths. No. Our power comes from being the victor. We stand tall over the weaker people who fall by the wayside by our hands, when they look up at us begging for help, knowing that their lives are in our hands, that we have control over whether they live or die that is the source of our power. Are you ready for that power?

“Yes, I would think it so” you say as I plant the first kiss of Christmas on your forehead. 

I have an idea for a new game, sweet little Eliza, one that involves roulette. Now all we need to do is find four players with everything to lose.

END

You Appear To Be Listing A Bit, Doc

Some of you may know that on the 23rd November 2013, the science fiction phenomenon known as Doctor Who celebrates its 50th anniversary. So, I've decided that to celebrate this milestone and promote a show that I love dearly. My original intention with this post was to regale you with several lists, because we geeks love nothing better than a bunch of lists, in which I rhyme off my favourite things from the past 50 years of Doctor Who. However, something happened when I started writing about the Sylvester McCoy era, I started to regress, to get analytical and extend focus on season 24, 25 and 26.   Please enjoy my ramblings which pass as insightful comment.



I was 7 in 1989 when the last full series of Doctor Who was shown before it was cancelled by the BBC. The 7 year old me would have chosen any of the 1988 series, or one of the ones that we'd rented from the video shop that is now a Bargain Booze... Or possibly a cafe... It closed down a long time ago anyhow and its true that for a child in the 80's the fact that the first Doctor was played by a different actor you didn't really care when watching The Five Doctors. But looking at the stories now, you can see the evolution of late 80's Doctor Who under Andrew Cartmel into a more, mature young adult fantasy and sci-fi market.  Eric Saward's time as script editor saw an attempt to move Doctor Who into this demographic, but the stories were an immature child's view of maturity, plenty of violence and gore.

Season 24's, bright and fluffy opening episode Time and the Rani is at one end of the spectrum and every other story in that season at the other. It's a misguided attempt to say to people, hey this show is hip and cool. It's bright, colourful and funny. The Tetraps are a nice monster, (I had the figure when I was a kid) showing no lack in creativity and actually when you write down, "evil scientist steals world's geniuses" it does sound like the plot of a hammer horror movie. There shows no sign of what was to come in the rest of the Cartmel era or in fact the rest of the season, it has its own interesting central idea but its let down by some appalling decisions. (Kate O'Mara's Bonnie Langford impression possibly the top of that list)

Paradise Towers is a bleak story of gang warfare in a tower block as performed by a youth drama group with black humour and dark tones offset by Bonnie Langford in a swimming costume with a gun. Yes you can knock Richard Briers for overplaying the role of Chief Caretaker, but look beyond that at the intent. Conflict between old and new is at the heart of the tale. Youth of the Kangs vs the carnivorous Old Ones in their apartments. The New shiny building that the Great Architect completed vs the old dilapidated one that we see.  The old Caretakers with rule books vs the young Kangs with their "anarchy".  Pex, left behind forever trying to prove himself the hero is the sadness in the tale, he is David Niven's Paper Tiger. We end like all the best stories, on sadness and melancholy because Happiness (as is demonstrated in season 25) is overrated.

Delta and the Bannermen is a story about genocide on one hand, the dangers of falling in love on the other all wrapped up in 1950's ribbon of chirpyness set in a holiday camp. It isn't very often that you'll find a story of love at the heart of "classic era" Who, but this story has it in spades. Unrequited love, lost love, found love are all here. Ray loves Billy, but Billy sees her as a mate. Billy loves Delta so much that he experiments with alien drugs to help him be more of that man she needs. Delta loves Billy and wants to try to repopulate her species which is all but wiped out. (Although when you look deeper only Delta and her daughter will be the last remaining Chimeron's as every subsequent generation will be Chimeron, Human hybrids) There's even some delicate moments where The Doctor can be melancholy about love and its place in the universe. "love has never been known for its rationality"

Dragonfire often falls foul as an example of nothing beneath the surface storytelling, but look deeper. It's a story about being lost. Ace is lost lightyears away from home, Glitz has lost his crew, Belaz has lost half her life serving Kane, Kane has lost his love, his home, his planet and eventually acknowledges that his hope is lost by looking out onto the sun that he knows his body can't survive.  There's a map, to help the Doctor and Glitz from getting lost as they search for "lost" treasure. During the attack on the shake stand the little girl gets lost. The Doctor loses his mind to create a cliffhanger for no reason other than we're 25 minutes in.

Season 25 took the themes that were bubbling under the surface of season 24 and expanded them with more cohesive storytelling and production. Tone and themes started to move together. Remembrance of the Daleks took the theme of racism and built it into a strong story with the right tone to match the subject matter. Kisses to the past are subtly placed so as not to alienate the casual viewer, but there's a new depth to the storytelling, instead of fleeting moments of pathos there's a clear intent that says we're going to ask some questions and be a bit thought provoking in what we do, the biggest ripple being that the people we thought were on our side and we're meant to like turn out to have beliefs that we can't agree with.

The Happiness Patrol took its direction from Paradise Towers, but with less youth theatre and more am dram its tale of smiling assassins and punishment for those who fail to be happy is deep and dark and is a tale that many who suffer from melancholic episodes can warm to. There's also the typical Doctor Who notion of the familiar twisted into the ugly, Sheila Hancock's Helen A based on Margaret Thatcher, the Kandyman like a Frankenstein's monster from former Bertie Bassett parts, the man eating Chihuahua that eventually leads to Helen A's moment of sadness.

Silver Nemesis while failing to have an undercurrent like many of the stories is still overflowing with ideas, probably too many for its own good. Time travel, ex-nazi's, living metal, jazz, Cybermen. But again, as a 7 year old it had explosions, gun fire, arrows, the Queen, Ace shooting Cybermen with a sling shot. (It took a full 23 years for me to understand why Ace shooting the Cybermen with Gold coins was a plot hole) Take the sequence with Ace on the gantry Cybermen either side of her, it still has a moment of tension and excitement that's missing from whole stories that appeared in the early 80's and moves along at a good pace.

The finale, The Greatest Show In The Galaxy, is scary story telling. Like the X Factor 20 years early, innocent kids chewed up and sentenced to death because they had no talent, just a desire to be there. Korg, impressive weight lifter but terrible joke teller. Secrets and lies, behind the greasepaint its always rumoured that there's a dark heart to the circus and the psychic circus is no different. It is a grotesque collection of characters, even those who we thought were safe to be around turn out to have a darker side, the Greatest Show In The Galaxy is the ultimate story in scratch the surface and see the nasty substance underneath. The monster's aren't in the cupboard or under the bed, but could be inside anybody.


And so, the final season of Andrew Cartmel/Sylvester McCoy/Sophie Aldred Doctor Who. Season 26 has, when viewed from a new perspective as a 31 year old in 2013, more in common with the resurrected series in 2005 than its bedfellows in the late 80's. Out of the 4 stories in season 26, two are contemporary, two are set in the past. No strange alien planets (for an entire story) or alien architectures that the action takes place inside. The focus of the season also changes, no longer are we focusing on the Doctor and his adventures, but we're seeing the adventures and the impact on the companion.

Battlefield is the strange beast of the season apparently having a foot in both camps. It contains many references to the Doctor as a game player, manipulating events from across dimensions, but lacks the depth and focus of the stories that follow. Interesting parallels between this episode and The Curse of Fenric later on in its use of faith as a weapon of protection.  It also has an ancient enemy from another dimension and a strong military presence. It also asks us to be critical, does the fact that we see Ace issue a racist outburst make us any less connected to her character, the flaws making her a more rounded character? A call back to Remembrance and Mrs Smith and her no coloureds sign. Battlefield as a standalone, has plenty to keep it interesting, the return of UNIT, the return of the Brigadier, the return of Jean Marsh, some exceptional interplay between Brigadier Bambera and Ancalin, the Doctor walking through the middle of a battle with a doff of his hat, but it is the exception to season 26 rather than the rule. 

"Ok kid, this is where it gets complicated" I've seen Ghost Light described as Doctor Who for the video generation. There's plenty to enjoy, the production values of seeing the BBC do a Victorian household is a beauty, the different layers of storytelling that all mirror the theme.  The story of evolution at the heart of the story is also reflecting the changing nature of the series of Doctor Who at this point in its life. We are now being told Ace's story, her development from the tomboy to the young woman starts here. Why are we here? Because the Doctor wants to know about what drove Ace to burn down the house. He wants to know what evil lurks beneath the surface that drove Ace to those actions. In essence creating a paradox, the residual evil in the house leads Ace to burn it down as a child, so the Doctor takes her back into its history to confront the evil, defeats the evil so Ace doesn't feel scared and doesn't sense the evil so doesn't burn the house down.

Of course cause and effect are continued in The Curse Of Fenric, my favourite episode of Doctor Who, (beating Girl In The Fireplace, Robots Of Death, Unicorn And The Wasp and Remembrance of the Daleks) which continues to show the growth of Ace as a companion and as a character. In the previous story we saw her confront her fears and start to grow up, to mature and face her fears. In Curse Of Fenric she continues on the same path, facing herself, everything that made her the rebel angry at the world and her place in it. At the start of the story, she won't hold a baby because it share's the same name as her mother, at the end of the story she's sending them both to safety, the home of her Grandmother. We see Ace's growing maturity that she'll listen to the Doctor when told not to go swimming, even though her young friends do go into the water. It appears again when she uses her sexuality to distract a guard. But in the recurring theme of misplaced trust she gifts the answer to the puzzle to Fenric. This wrong decision leads to a very dark moment where the Doctor, so often the moral incorruptible figure is revealed to have been using Ace all along to get Fenric to reveal himself for one final game.  

Speaking of final games, that leads us onto Survival, the last episode of the classic series (unless you count Dimensions In Time...) which is the perfect bridge to the 2005 series. Survival has a council estate, Rose has a council estate. Survival has a shop, Rose has a shop. Survival has a focus on the companion and an enemy from the past, the same as Rose. Several years have passed since Ace last visited Perivale and she returns older and wiser, we see her by comparisons to the friends she's left behind. An undercurrent of fighting for control runs through the story, the Master fighting to remain control of himself, his control of Mitch, the control the planet of the Cheetah people has over people. Sergeant Patterson has a certain amount of control over his students by using his power of authority to control their minds and make them do things they may not want to in his self defence class."If we fight like animals we die like animals" the anguished Doctor cries in frustration, attempting to save the Master. A cry to control their animal instincts for aggression. The Doctor keeps control, the Master doesn't and only one of them escapes the planet.

So there we have it, just a few thoughts, I know that there will be bits I've missed, such as the Lesbian subtext, the long game, clowns are creepy stuff. But that's not really the point, it's been about why I love the Cartmel/McCoy era, my era of the show.

Happy hunting, Sister :)

Pulling Everything Inwards

So, its been four months since the last blog. Get ready to be blown... away.

Heard some funny news today. Ben Wheatley, the current flavour of the month in terms of British indie film talent will be directing two episodes of Doctor Who. To those who aren't familiar with Ben's body of recent work then the mention of his name will be held in the same esteem as Graham Harper and Euros Lynn, just another name working on the TV show. However, for those who have seen films such as Kill List and this years A Field In England, the fact that Ben is directing episodes of a BBC produced television show is big news indeed.

So, why is this good news?

Because it gives an immense sense that "if that guy can get there, then so can I"

Last year after the completion of 2012's thriller ForeverTogether (Which has been invited to screen in French Polynesia by the way) I made a bold prediction about the fate of its three writers and where they would ultimately end up. Scott would be the man responsible for the new Jason Statham action movie Carcrash Transporter Cellphone Bandit. Elinor would be wooing the West End with her art house classic theatrical event Bird On The Toilet and I myself would be sat in a BBC kitchen in Roath Locke discussing storylines for series ten of Doctor Who with Toby Whithouse, "It involves these caves and a trapped baby robot elephant...."  Now, nearly 2 years on do I feel any different to that initial prediction?

Well, yes and no.

It was with a very giant leap of faith that I decided to found PixieFairie Media and start to play by the rules. In 2012 I just spent money on projects and planned projects without any regard for income or cost. By July I'd three projects completed, but the entire budget of 2013 had been blown. Something happened on the approach of 2013 that I don't always admit to, an outbreak of common sense. I've never been sharp enough or practical enough to be able to deal with dailies. It is my good friend @RatedR1882 who has an A Level in Business Studies. But, I had to learn to be disciplined and to do things professionally and properly. So 2013's budget had to include festival entry fees, capital expenditure and project budgets. Which unfortunately has a knock on effect in terms of actual productions, because instead of drinking from the well, the well is now capped.

So here's the thing, 2013 hasn't been as big as 2012 in terms of quantity of productions. But, just as 2012 was a case of learning about how to mount productions, 2013 has been about marketing them. (See previous blogs)

So what happens in 2014?

More of the same, I think. Capital expenditure slows down because sound gear, lighting gear and various props have all been bought this year. Camera equipment is the first order for next year, then I would say that all the basic components are there. I have fingers crossed for the next instalment of the Roulette Of Horror story to go in front of the cameras, Scott Baker has a lovely idea in development that's part Hannibal, part When Harry Met Sally. Elinor's 12 Days Christmas Tale and my own The Christmas Guest, not to mention the possibility of seeing Jenn Bee's animation, and the music video for a song by folk group Roholio. I'm even toying with the idea of pushing together a last minute Broken Nation short film before Rick McCleod's Celtic Storm Films starts on principle photography. If in January you'd have told me that Keith Duffy and Bill Maynard would be reading words that I had written in front of a camera I would have laughed at you. But that's another part of my life.

A few weeks ago I had a coffee with my dear friend (the aforementioned RatedR) and he told me about PMA, the power of positive thinking. Self belief and self confidence are incredibly fragile things, even people who are working with you can work against you without them knowing it. I think that maybe I'm starting to learn that now, that the only person you can rely on is yourself, but surround yourself with good talented and above all supportive people and with hard work and a wicked sense of fun, one day you could be responsible for a couple of indie films and be working on Doctor Who...







ADVERTISEMENT.
PixieFairie Media & Shoot Immortals present.... The Christmas Guest
Starring Emma Beaver, Francesca Totti and Robin Booth.

Steak And Trumpet Blowing Day (Part 2)

Ok, so times have moved on a little since the last blog post. But finally, here's the concluding part. 

MISFITS AUDIO
STAR RABBIT TRACKS: WHERE NOTHING HAS GONE BEFORE

http://misfitsaudio.com/comments/archives/737

I accidentally stumbled into the world of Star Rabbit Tracks when Cap'n John Tadrzak advertised for artists. I thought he wanted writers, he did and he offered me Star Rabbit Tracks. After a couple of episodes in which I was finding my feet and the characters. This is an episode that I managed to put the words that I wanted, the tone that I wanted and the jokes that I wanted into the whole package.

The thing about my work at Misfits, was that I was forced, (not in the plank and cutless kind of way) to accept who I was, that everything on that page was mine, instead of hiding behind a pseudonym I had to take on the chin every inch of criticism and every inch of praise. Because of this I was quite shocked to find out that putting my name out there meant that when praise was given, it made me very very happy.



MISFITS AUDIO
STAR RABBIT TRACKS: RETURN OF THE DEADEYE

http://misfitsaudio.com/comments/archives/1049

Sometimes you get a perfect combination of script, performance and production. This episode is exactly that. H Keith Lyons was hand picked to play the role of Deadeye, a grizzled old space Fagin and he is magnificent. Every comedy beat is hit with perfection by H Keith and David Maciver, the great lost double act of internet radio.

Also hidden away in the subplot of this episode was the start of a narrative thread which leads up to the season finale.


IN THE LINE OF DUTY: WINTER APPOINTMENT

http://vanguarddivision.libsyn.com/winter-appointment

Let me tell you a little something about the series "In The Line Of Duty", firstly and incredibly importantly, it was all his idea. His characters, his plotlines, his ideas and his plans. I'm just going to ride on his coat tails and take all the credit, Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

If only I could ;-). When I first offered my services to help, Ben Reed has his plans for a military tale, near future thriller. What I threw into the batter was a mix of fantastical and paranoia, a whole list of what ifs. What if the President isn't running the Government but his security chief is? What if the mysterious man responsible for hijacking a nuclear convoy was doing it as a rouse, a whim, a flex of technological muscle?   What if we rename that character Alistair Stewart in a veiled Doctor Who homage? Luckily, he believed me :-) and the series took shape and when first writing it together we hit upon a great dynamic, he'd write the all action explosive bits and I'd write the emotional, human angle bits.

What's the best thing you can do in Audio drama? Yes that's right an episode full of Sound effects and very little dialogue that only features on character talking to himself. Good thing that the character is voiced by David Ault, a highly thought of member of the audio drama community.


IN THE LINE OF DUTY: THE VANGUARD ARCHIVE

http://vanguarddivision.libsyn.com/the-vanguard-archive

So, here it is. Possibly the maddest audio drama episode I've ever done. It's so mad that it's about to become the accepted format for future episodes of In The Line Of Duty. This particular episode has everything you could wish for in a glimpse into damaged and dangerous souls and was produced with a mixture of existing recordings and new material. The intention was to complete everything that was outstanding because of the show going on hiatus. In a strange quirk, this closing of a chapter has inadvertently led to the opening of another and the In The Line Of Duty engine has started to chug.

So that's what I would consider my best bits... Maybe you think differently, maybe you don't. But one things for sure, there's more to come, bigger and hopefully better.

Steak And Trumpet Blowing Day

I had steak.


Recently work was completed on short film Eliza's Prize. I personally believe that it is one of my best works. So it got me to thinking this evening, what other works am I proudest of.

DARKER PROJECTS:
THE BYRON CHRONICLES: STARLIGHT DREAMS

http://darkerprojects.dreamhosters.com/audio/thebyronchronicles/0204A_The-Byron-Chronicles_Starlight_Dreams.mp3


It may only be 17 minutes long, but this little episode marks a number of things.

1. The first accepted script
2. First performance of one of my scripts
3. It's fantastical, surreal and beautiful. 
4. It was the first use of my pseudonym
5. It gave me the confidence to think that I could write and do it well. 

DARKER PROJECTS: 
THE BYRON CHRONICLES: THE HOUR OF PORTLAND 


http://darkerprojects.dreamhosters.com/audio/thebyronchronicles/0209-The-Byron-Chronicles-The-Hour-Of-Portland.mp3

I won't lie to you, when I first decided to do this as a blog post I only had two thoughts as to what I was going to choose from my association with Darker Projects, Starlight Dreams and this one. The problem I encountered was I actually discovered that Dead Time is a cracking script, riffing on Most Haunted Live expertly and quite freaky in places. I also discovered that Alistair and The Strange Case Of The Christmas Undead, an episode that Doctor Who fans like to call "Pseudo-Historical" because it features history and the supernatural.  If you like Sherlock Holmes, Zombies and Werewolves then please check out this episode. 

But, I still stick by my decision, technically this isn't all my own work as the framework and basic structure of this episode was already in place by Eric Busby when he asked me (due to personal reasons on his part) to help him out by co-writing and finishing the episode off. I'm quite happy that at least 60% of what you hear after the first twenty minutes was mine.

My personal favourite parts include

1. The encounter on the bridge between Byron and Slate.
2. The death of Chris Sparrow
3. The line "I believe this belongs to you, we found it on the shoulders of someone called Branlaven. He begged for his life and told us how to find you." "Then we killed him."

Also, my personal memories include a 5* review from Leviathan Dances. (See below)
http://leviathandances.wordpress.com/2009/12/10/the-byron-chronicles-season-2-finale-aka-can-i-start-crying-now/#comments

Again, some fantastic acting from David Ault and Laura Post carry this episode hitting every emotional beat perfectly. 


SPIRITBLADE UNDERGROUND ALLIANCE:
SEARCH THE NIGHT. 

http://www.archive.org/download/OfTheNightEpisode2SearchTheNight/OfTheNightEp2_SearchTheNight_SBUA.mp3

Technically, this episode is labelled as Episode 2 on the website.  However, it is episode 1 of the series, because episode 1 was the pilot. (Are you confused yet?) I think that it's because this is episode 1 of the series that it holds a special place. I remember writing some of it on a train, in a happy place. Not that you'd know from listening to it because there's a lot going on, some extremely careful planning and set-up.

Paeter Frandsen who produced this series was an incredibly good editor. He asked a lot of questions and was very honest about where the story suffered.

In a very strange co-incidence, this also features the first appearance of Graeme Cook, who would later resurface in the short film "A Relaxing Day In The Country". Now I'm unsure at this point whether the two worlds are connected, is this Graeme the same one who orders his underlings to sort it out? Maybe Justine will turn up on the streets of Nunwood, bored with life in Greater Phoenix. So much potential. Lets hope that Spiritblade will one day release the last two episodes and complete the series. There's a fantastic finale, just waiting to be heard.

Working Away Through The Talent

This time last year I was gearing up for my first production with BakerNunPixie. It was a fantastic balls to the floor achievement given I was working nights, had never produced anything before and had five weeks to write, shoot, edit and enter the short film into the competition. With a good team around us this proved to be a good experience and I think ForeverTogether stands up quite well in terms of quality productions. There are a lot worse and more shabbily mounted films out there.

So what do we have this year? we have a piece inspired by 2001: A Space Odyssey,  Steven Moffat and The Shining. A prequel short to a feature film that combines Dog Soldiers, Jaws and Rab C Nesbitt. Perhaps a little bit more of Eliza (oh how I love that character) and her playthings from Roulette of Horror. We have a new crew under our wing. We have in house editing. We have our returning star actress, and possibly star actors. In a lot of ways we're approaching this year as something new, but with the experience of last year behind us. Which then leads onto more questions, specifically what do we want and where are we going? So in that vein here is a list of actors and actresses I would one day like to meet on set, reading my lines in one of my productions.

1 - Winona Ryder



I've always had a soft spot for Miss Ryder. In fact it was the thought of one day meeting her on set that switched on the flame of feature screenwriting inside of me.

2 - Nicole deBoer


Again, there are ulterior motives for this choice. One of my first major crushes, I've always harboured a desire to meet her in the flesh. But, beyond just physical attraction her performance in the first few episodes of Deep Space Nine Series 7 as Ezri Dax was amazing. More character development and emotional range than was shown in the previous 6 years. 

3 - Catherine Tate




Immediately, eyebrows get raised. However, anyone who saw her turn as Donna Noble in series 4 of Doctor Who will be less surprised. At first the loud mouthed bolshy persona would turn people away, but as it developed so did the character, reaching a peak in the episode  'Turn Left' with a tour de force performance of anger, sadness, confusion and fear.
 
4 - Vanessa Mayfield

Ok, technically this is a cheat because I have actually been on set and heard her reading my lines. But, as the Gov' Elinor Perry-Smith says. "She is our muse" so I look forward to working with her again and again and hopefully again. 

5 - Sylvester McCoy




Ok, I'll admit it. Sylvester McCoy was MY Doctor. Hero worship plays a big part in productions. quite a few films have been made just so they can cast their acting heroes in a part. The loveliest and strangest thing I've seen in the past few years is Sylvester in a multi-million dollar movie from an Academy Award winning director. And he's brilliant.

6 - Dylan Moran





Bernard Black is one of the great TV characters, permanently pissed or angry but most of the time both. Anyone who has seen Dylan Moran do stand up appreciates the subtle shifts in his act, quieter moments alongside his bombastic outbursts about the world. Sometimes shifts from stand up to acting doesn't always yield the results we desire, but sometimes it does and it does perfectly. 

7 - Matt Smith


Yes, he is the current leading man in Doctor Who and along with Sylvester McCoy my personal favourite. It's the madness and the sadness rolled into one. So based on that I'd love to work with him, on a project that requires melancholy from the soul. It would be amazing.

Black And Blue Orchids

So I'm going to start this post with a very strange account. For the first time in my life, on Tuesday February 5th at 16:04pm I had a blackout. Not just any blackout but the kind that includes people surrounding me telling me not to move, blood pouring from a head wound and shouts for a first aider.

Apparently from what I can piece together, a  coughing fit led to oxygen starvation and in turn led to me making the acquaintance of the concrete floor outside the managers office. Luckily, and I mean this sincerely, my glasses took the impact of the fall. I went head first onto concrete and don't have cracks, bruises or lumps. What I do have is a black eye and steristrips. Man do I look sexy!!!!! Yeah, actually I look like a chubby little guy who's walked into a lamp post.

The thing that interests me the most is the reactions and gossiping that takes place around me.

Half the building was very kind and took the opportunity to talk about what had happened to me and ask how I was feeling and even a couple of them took the opportunity to text or e-mail to ask how I was.

The other half didn't know or didn't care enough to ask.

It's quite a sobering thought to think that maybe you're so insignificant to people that when you collapse and bleed you're not worth a minute of people's time.

I recently decided to take a Twitter sabbatical because I found myself increasingly talking to myself more than interacting with followers. Nothing makes you feel more lonely than knowing 300 people want to hear what you have to say and not one of them are interested in replying to your questions. 

The best thing about this post is that some people will read it and go, that's sad. I feel a bit sorry for him. But from experience the majority will turn round and go, look at that selfish self centred attention seeker.

To be honest, it's true that i don't really give a fuck about what people say and think, I'm not a people person. I'm reclusive and withdrawn. I have interests and preferences that people don't connect with. But I have a small circle of friends and that's enough for me.