Driving Me To Damascus

A couple of days ago, I was toying with whether or not to blog. Truth be told I was having a severe crisis of conscious about the current state of trying to get my new project off the ground and at the hurdles I was having problems getting over. You can see in the paragraphs below how I originally started this

Maybe its time time of year, with this being the first year I've actively been involved in the indie film business I'm not entirely sure of its peaks and troughs. But the amount of people who are willing work hard to get themselves noticed and increase their portfolio seems to have dwindled in the last few months, in fact people willing to get involved in new small projects seems to be significantly reduced.  I've spent a good few hours over the past few weeks networking and searching for people to get involved with the new "12 Days" project. I've sent out postings on several media sites for DOP's and Cinematographers and film crews and offers of co-productions. Literally all these have to do is turn up and film, scripts, locations, actors, props all taken care of and paid for. I find it strange.

But the things I find hardest to take are the ignorants. I can understand ignoring messages and requests from people who lives hundreds of miles away in other countries. People whose requests will never amount to anything because they're just out to add numbers. That kind of ignorance I understand because I've done that myself. But people in the same country, actively seeking help and actively pushing projects and trying to get things made, the simple "sorry, not interested" would be fine.

As you can see, I wasn't exactly channelling the spirit of goodwill. But it does beg a few questions, I personally blame the new vogue of crowdfunding, now instead of working hard and collaborating to get things made you can beg for money and people get paid. I'm still uncertain about the whole crowdfunding revolution in a lot of ways, if someone gets five thousand people to donate a tenner each and then that film makes tens of thousands of pounds of profit, what percentage of that profit goes back to the investors. Under normal circumstances a producer would be allowed to enter that production into competitions and festivals. How does that come into it? It really is a minefield I'd rather avoid.

In a strange quirk of finance, it worked out cheaper for me to pay travel expenses and an overnight stay and lunch for a crew who have enthusiasm and desire than pay for a crew just there for the money.

Anyway, something happened in a weird kind of coincidental way,. I've been reading a book about Stuart Adamson and the things that went on with Big Country and the record companies through the years and I've reached the last chapter, in which the great Big Country comeback and top 20 single was dashed by a record chart executive who decreed that the Big Country single 'Fragile Thing' had too many folds in its packaging and could have been bought because it looked good instead of sounding good. Good thing such stupid rules don't exist now or everyone will be buying singles just because there's a bikini clad hottie on it who can't really.... Oh... :(

It just so happens that on Radio 4 there was a documentary about the making of Driving To Damascus, the final album released by Stuart Adamson and Big Country and it got me thinking. I remember when I first bought the album and the reasons for it. I remember how depressed I was, how unhappy I was. How I used to listen to the songs over and over, how See You, Somebody Else and Fragile Thing were adopted as a soundtrack to my heartbreak. I read about Stuart's battles with inner demons and how he felt he lacked a support network which ultimately led him to a hotel room in Hawaii.

I suppose I'm a little bit sadder now, because a great talent has been lost, because a great album has been swept aside and because one of the great 90's songs will never be heard and acknowledged by the mainstream. I suppose what makes me saddest the most is that I now have a feeling that this great bubble of indie filmmaking that I've enjoyed over the past twelve months is shrinking and that instead of hard work and collaboration its money, money, money.